Diamond – the heartless stone?

Have you read the book "The Heartless Stone" by T. Zoellner? No, I haven’t read it too, but I happened to read his article in Time magazine this morning, while sitting in Mila’s Dentist waiting room.

Well, I am not gonna discuss the content of that book, it sounds interesting though… call it deja vu, but I remember I once read similar writing about the full of blood origin’s of diamond. And it strengthen my personal rejection of owning one though I must admit it is stunningly beautiful. I simply don’t like it because it is too expensive and it doesn’t feel right to have one while so many people are dying hungry.

Once, my mom wanted to give me a diamond ring, as she gave one to each of her daughters. Somehow, she misplaced it before handed it to me. My mom felt terrible and I was sorry she was unhappy. However, I felt relieved since I’ve got no chance to misplace it myself – a habit I’ve developed since I was a kid. Plus, I can stay diamond-free

Hmm, perhaps it is not only about diamond, there are many other nice-to-have things I would prefer not to have. In order to stay that way, I have to remind myself about Mbak Jasih and her 3 sons, pak Marno, someone begging for money at the traffic light, and so many unfortunate people.

I’ve just passed the peak season

Now you will recognize that I write only when I am feeling low. It is not the gloomy-cloudy day (hmmm just found another rhyming words for mila). It is also not the waiting-too-long-in-the-parking-lot for my hunny hubby to take his lunch box. It is neither my little boy whinning most of the time, nor my big girl asking too many tough questions. It is not also the leftover of tiring driving of almost 3000 miles last week. Or is it the uncertainty in the future caused by a question before I fell asleep last night – what are you going to do when we are back to Jakarta? (ugh, i must tell him not to ask me difficult question right before I sleep)

It is probably a little bit of this and that, but hey… nobody blames you when you feel troubled, as life is full of challenges, isn’t it?

Well, I am actually trying to put a sense in my gut, future is not to be feared but to be conquered.

[referring to a quote "Courage is not the absence of fears, but the mastery over them"]