Your Spouse is Your Best Friend (?)

Don’t laugh yet!! I am not trying to be romantic as I am not a kind, I don’t do this kind of love definition because I just feel it and dunno how to describe it.

It is just that I found this funny… I felt desperately lonely the last few days – having no one to listen to me bursting out about a stupid horrible driver, telling a-not-so-funny-joke I just read somewhere, complaining about my endless homework list or any other unimportant stuff… in addition to the must-talk-about topics (Alith got a new friend in the park – a little girl! What time do you want me to pick up? Hmm I have some items to buy in Kroger. Btw, I need some cash).

It was just because my hubby was travelling for a week, not that this is the first time he travel for his work since we’re here – but this is the first time he is not taking us with him. I would love to – but it is a too expensive vacation.

So… back to the topic, though not easy to admit – I am sure he is my best and closest friend – to whom I can share all kind of things. Even if I keep telling him "You don’t listen to me, do you?", it doesn’t stop me venting out whatever in my mind. Whether it was because he makes a great listener, or simply he is the nearest person to locate – I dunno. Yet, I know I couldn’t be more lucky to have such friend

Anyway, he is back this afternoon and has been sleeping all the time (first buddy, it is so called jetlag – second, he likes to sleep). Haven’t got any allowance to vent out except a few minutes while driving home, but at least tomorrow might not be so lonely as it was yesterday, hopefully

Another thought today

I was in the middle of web browsing when I arrived to the website of an organization which defines its mission and goal as:

"….to help mothers who are leaving the workplace or modifying their work schedule to stay home with their children. Our goal is to help women replace the sense of "significance" they receive from their jobs with significance gained through their identity in faith."

Sigh… is that what I (and women of a kind) really need? Well, even if I sounded bitter, what I meant to express that it is unbelievably true.

We need to feel right at home, that despite of lack of career achievements and whatsoever usually measured for degree of significance or success, staying at home is a right decision.

note: for those who have been reading my posts, my apology if you found similar issue has been repeated too often. It might be just a sign of … somebody is thinking about it way too much, or she did not take enough measures to prevent it from occupying her mind. Thanks for reading though

On being a mother, I learn…

While the traffic was in its most dangerous state and my little girl was being a chatter box, I occasionally told her to be quiet because I needed to concentrate. Right after that, I thought how pity my daughter to have such a thoughtless mom – she was just expressing herself, something I actually encourage her to do. Well, I did a mistake, which then I tried to fix by asking her what she wanted to tell me. Feeling bad, and even worse – as she just cheerfully continued telling me her story and did not show any sign of being upset or mad at me. Oh my….

Must admit I loose my temper easily. Being a mother, I learn the wisdom and the patience from my daughter – who seems to always understand when mommy shows high tempered manners.

When I was busy with something (either laundry, or cooking or computer or just newspaper), my little boy came several times – back and forth – begging me to fix his computer games (usually the wireless connection went down and he can’t open the game website). I would either tell him to play with his other toys (come on you have plenty others to play with!!! enough with computer games!!!). Or – I would tell him to ask his big sissy to fix it for him. Anything but me stopping whatever I was doing to do him the favor – even though I know it would not take more than 2 minutes of my too precious time.

But then… one day I was feeling so low and frustated, I sat on the kitchen floor and started crying quietly for no particular reason. My little boy found me – after checking the other rooms – he stood there and puzzled. Then slowly, he was putting down all the toys he had in his hands to the floor, approaching me, kissing my wet cheek, and then sitting next to me hugging my arm until I stopped weeping.

My little boy knows better than I – that his toys are not important when his mother needs help. In his big heart, he taught me what it means to love. Oh I feel ashamed on how selfish I’ve been.

On being a mother, I learn….

Missing the healthy environment

Hmmm so much for a week. It started last Friday when Mila woke up with a swollen eye-lid and several other red bumps. I thought it was allergic reaction to whatever she ate the day before – but the doctor came with surprising diagnose – chicken pox. What??? I thought there is no more chicken pox in this modern country. Good that both Mila & Alith got the shoot – even though varicella shoot doesn’t completely stop this very contagious disease – at least it prevents worse symptoms.

Well, kids were kept at home for a week – despite of how boring it is for them and also for me. As if it was not enough – I got two days in high fever – probably flu or something similar.

Hope things get better the next two days… as we really look forward to our first outdoor camping at Lake Somerville. We have been planning for this trip, bought all necessary camping gears and mentally anticipate an exciting experience.